Distraction, lalala!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
post-"Chosen", PG, England or Cleveland, take yer pick
Dawn/Dawn (blame buffyverse1000), gratuitous Willow/Xander
ZOMBIES!
Unbetaed, baby; I live on the edge.

In the training room, Vi shrieked. Nothing happened. When she shrieked again, Giles poked his head in. It was his "oh, good Lord," that brought everyone else over to see what was going on. Beside the crossbow case, Dawn was straddling Vi, and pulling her hair.

"Dawnie!" said Willow. "What are you doing??"

"Brains!" said Dawn, and gave Vi's hair another sharp tug.

"... did she just say *brains*?" asked Xander, coming in behind Willow. "'cause, um, that's probably not good."

"Dawn!" said Buffy, as she ran in to find her sister pinning Vi to the floor. "Stop that!"

"Stop what?" asked Dawn, coming in behind her. Buffy, Willow, Xander, Giles and the horizontal Vi all did a double take. Then a triple take. "Holy crap," said Dawn, looking across the room at herself.

*

"... most likely caused by recent instability in dimensional barriers," Giles finished. Nobody was looking at him; instead they were all staring at the new Dawn, who was sitting dejectedly in an armchair. Vi had been all for tying her up, but the real Dawn had vetoed that idea -- "ropes chafe!" -- so Willow had stepped in with some kind of magical superglue spell, sticking her there for the time being.

"So she's from another dimension?" Buffy asked, wrinkling her nose.

"I wonder if it's a dimension where *everyone* is a zombie," said Willow. "Or if she just happens to be a zombie in a normal dimension."

"Can I just reiterate that this is deeply freaky?" said Xander, looking back and forth from the Dawn who was again struggling fruitlessly against her invisible bonds, to the Dawn who was perched warily on the sofa arm beside her.

"I agree," said Buffy. "I don't like it."

"Hey!" said Dawn, folding her arms. "*You* all got to have cool evil twins! It's totally my turn."

"Brains?" said zombie!Dawn sadly.

"Besides," said Dawn, tilting her head. "I think she's scared. And lost. Look how sad she looks."

"Can we call her Zawn, for Zombie Dawn?" asked Xander, as Willow laced her fingers with his.

"No!" snapped Dawn, as she shifted closer to the zombie.

*

"So she'll think the ice cream *is* brains?" Dawn asked, looking over Willow's shoulder.

"Yep," Willow grinned proudly. "It's sort of like a glamour, except for tastebuds. At least, I hope it'll work. I've never really done magic on zombies before."

Cautiously, Dawn pushed a bowl of chocolate ice cream in front of her hungry-looking double, who perked up almost immediately.

"Brains!" she said happily and grabbed the bowl.

"Wow," said Dawn, watching her gobble it up. "I'll say it worked."

"There's that witch-fu mojo I like," said Xander, sliding his arms around Willow's waist.

"Brains," said Dawn dreamily, face covered with chocolate.

*

Buffy paused in the upstairs hallway, hearing voices. Or, one voice.

"Dawn?" she asked, knocking on her sister's door. "Who are you talking t-- oh."

Dawn was kneeling on her bed, combing out the wet hair of the zombie, who was sitting in front of her.

"Dawn, what are you *doing*?" Buffy said. "She's a monster! And -- wait, what happened to her clothes?"

"I lent her some of mine!," said Dawn. "Hers were all dirty. She looks totally cute, now. And don't call her a monster! You're so prejudiced."

"I am *not* prejudiced because I think my sister shouldn't be hanging out with zombies," said Buffy. "And hang on, did she take a *shower*? Can she do that on her own??"

"I helped her," said Dawn narrowing her eyes defiantly. "She liked it."

"Please tell me this is not happening," said Buffy.

*

Giles was on the phone with Andrew and shuffling through papers when he walked into the kitchen, so he didn't see the two girls sitting at the table 'til he hung up. Matching bowls of ice cream and raised eyebrows.

"Hi Giles," said the Dawn on the left.

"Hi Giles," said the Dawn on the right.

Giles dropped the phone.

"Very good!" said the Dawn on the left. "Did you hear that, Giles? She's totally expanding her vocabulary! I think she was just disadvantaged before. She hadn't had a chance in the zombie dimension to learn much beyond that whole brains riff."

"Shiny hair," said the Dawn on the right and patted Dawn's head. "Pretty brains."

The Dawn on the left blushed and bumped her foot against the other's in a manner entirely visible under the kitchen table.

"She's very friendly," she explained, as a hand slid up her thigh. Giles dropped the phone again.

Cut text lyrics: "Clonie," Nellie McKay